-----Original Message-----
From: LOOPDEEDO <loopdeedo@aol.com>
Newsgroups: rec.sport.jetski
Date: Friday, April 16, 1999 11:41 AM
Subject: Re: Rev-U-Lations From the Gas Man
>The Heavy Thinker -- A Cautionary Tale
>
>
>It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then
to
>loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to
>another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
>
>I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't
true.
>Thinking became more and more important to me,
>and finally I was thinking all the time.
>
>I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix,
but
>I couldn't stop myself.
>
>I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I
>would return to the office dizzied and confused,
>asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
>
>Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off
the
>TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
>She spent that night at her mother's.
>
>I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in.
He
>said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say
>this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop
thinking
>on the job, you'll have to find another job." This
>gave me a lot to think about.
>
>I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confessed,
>"I've been thinking..."
>
>"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
>
>"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
>
>"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college
>professors, and college professors don't make any
>money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
>
>"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd
had
>enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I
>stomped out the door.
>
>I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS
station on
>the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran
>up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.
>
>To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night.
>
>As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
>Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy
>thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It
>comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
>
>Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA
>meeting. At each meeting we watch a
>non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share
experiences
>about how we avoided thinking since the last
>meeting.
>
>I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed...
>easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.